BOOK REVIEW: Congregation Leadership in Anxious Times: Being Calm and Courageous No Matter What

Part 1

The first part of Steinke’s work deals with the human relationships within stressful circumstances.  Using many illustrations the author provides much needed examples for the leader facing church conflict, however little practical guidance in addressing these concerns are offered. 

Understanding why individuals under stress react in certain ways is invaluable for any leader, but it does not necessarily answer the question, “How to fix it?”  Nevertheless, being prepared, educated, and expectant of the effects produced by anxiety can guide a leader to avoid allowing minor problems turn into much greater ones.

I found Steinke’s instruction in chapter one, regarding the effects of anxiety, the most helpful.  So many of the key examples applied to my current context.  For example, the description of Raymond as one who “simplifies everything into ‘this’ or ‘that,’” and his unwillingness to listen reminds me of a man in my church.  Though we are not building, this “repressive” reaction to anxiety seems to be somewhat common and, as Steinke warns, quite contagious.

Our church has reacted to this type of anxiety in the very same way that Steinke predicts when he writes, “When facing anxious times, a high percentage of congregations freeze.”  In fear of offending and causing greater opposition other leaders and I have simply delayed moving forward.  Understanding that “indecisiveness is reactivity” does help to begin addressing these matters in a more decisive manner.

Confronting immature behavior does seem much more difficult than the author appears to present in this section.  This difficulty is especially magnified in smaller lower-income congregations such as the one I currently serve.  As a pastor of mostly uneducated believers such philosophical concepts seem almost humorous due to the perceived gap between where we are and where we are being challenged to take the congregation. While the reminder to remain mature rather than reactive in my responses to conflict is of great value, much of the terminology seems so far beyond my context that it is difficult to connect practically.

Part 2

In the second part of this book much more practical guidance is given for the function of leadership in the midst of various difficult conditions.  The author did well to address the need of boundaries, providing clarity, and intentionally using conflict for the purpose of growth.  The most useful section for my context dealt with the leaders role in the emotional “field” of the church.  Immature believers tend to react with more emotion, so leaders must be even more diligent providing clarity and guidance. 

Anxiety can control a congregation unless the leader is strong and willing to address the problem rather than merely placate the people.  The leader is in a position that has the most influence to challenge the congregation, but this also stirs up the most anxiety making the leader a lighting rod for attack.  I have learned that true leadership is not merely keeping the peace.  In fact, it is the job of a leader to stretch the people, which will almost always meet some resistance.  Change is never easy and the leader cannot avoid it because any organization not changing is dying.  My tendency is to avoid conflict, so this section challenged me not to sacrifice needed change out of fear of resistance.

The lesson, “Pain can be a teacher,” will stick with me in my ministry.  Too often my goal is to avoid pain and make sure everyone stays happy, but now I realize that may be doing more harm than good.  Ironically, as a father I have already learned this lesson as I intentionally avoid rescuing my children from consequences and difficulty.  However, for whatever reason, I have not applied this same principle as a leader in my church.  That must change.

Finally, I found Steinke’s instruction on establishing boundaries very beneficial.  It gave me the needed permission to protect my personal time and my family from the demands of leadership.  Before I felt guilty saying no, but knowing that relationships are healthier when boundaries are well defined helps me explain to parishioners why I cannot always be available.  I am not doing my congregation any favors by allowing myself to get burned out or letting my family become bitter toward my ministry career.  Steinke’s case studies helped to establish in my mind that an unwillingness to stand firm with well-defined boundaries is unhealthy.

Part 3

The key statement for me in my ministry context was the suggestion from Henri Nouwen which was, “…if we are to be leaders who challenge, we can never forget that humility and courage are both necessary.” While I feel that my efforts to keep peace are done in humility; I know I have failed in serving with courage.  I understand that one without the other is not healthy for the church or me, as the leader.  The challenge for me personally is to balance the “lion and lamb” within my approach to leadership.

My “Aaron instincts” to “please the masses” has prevented me at times from challenging growth and effecting needed change. It was also encouraging to learn that God does not ask us to make up our own courage or “pull hope out of the thin air.”  Instead, we are invited by Him to have our strength renewed. Solutions are not guaranteed, but God’s presence and renewal can be counted on as we work through any circumstance of life.

Further, Steinke does well to remind the reader that results will vary in every congregation.  Rarely are results immediate or discernable until months have past.  Additionally, there is no assurance that the leader’s guidance, even if done well, will result in better circumstances.  In fact, more often than not the challenge of a good leader will be met with great resistance and even conflict.  Remembering that conflict can be healthy is essential for the leader.  This helps in setting expectations and not becoming discouraged through the process.

The brain’s innate resistance to change and the natural stubbornness of man’s sin nature almost guarantees conflict when a leader challenges growth.  A leader must understand that challenging people’s habits, values, and beliefs will be resisted, but such conflict is necessary at times.  The leader must work to reduce the impact of this resistance by graciously permitting people to work through change without being shamed or belittled for their views.  The more a leader provokes antagonists the more sealed in their rebellion they will become.  A leader must allow them to change without being confronted with the accusation, “I told you so.”  When those resistant to change finally come on board they can become your best advocates in ministry.

Key Implications and Applications

1. 1  The reader is reminded, “ On the lower (immature) side, people are reactive.” (Part 1, p.  105) Implication/Application: The leader must be aware of such reactive tendencies and able to respond with maturity and understanding so as to diffuse potential conflict.
2. 2 In contrast, “On the higher (mature) side, people are more thoughtful and reflective.” (Part 1, p.  105) Implication/Application: When the leader identifies those who are more mature s/he can look to them for support, guidance, and help in bringing clarity and consensus in the group.
3. 3. “Anxiety is also contagious.” (Chapter 1, p. 176) Implication/Application: Knowing this truth, the leader must address anxious people’s concerns early in the process to avoid undue ripple effects upon the group.
4. 4. “To live a healthy life requires the capacity to stand apart and to stand together.” (Chapter 2, p. 334)  Implication/Application:  Leaders should help balance these two aspects within the group to maintain healthy growth and group dynamic.
5. 5.  “Crucial to the balancing act is a person’s capacity to think clearly, observe, reflect on situations, and base choices and behaviors on principles.” (Chapter 2, p. 371) Implication/Application: The mature leader will think through their response according to these principles rather than allowing themselves to be drug into the mud by those more immature in their response.
6. 6. “Anxiety is always present; it is a fundamental human expression, even a healthy response to life.” (Chapter 3, p. 398) Implication/Application: If the leader expects anxiety s/he will be more able to handle it in such a manner as to keep self-control and maintain healthy relationships in the midst of anxiety.
7. 7. “Correlation exists between expectations and our physical and emotional condition.” (Chapter 3, p. 398) Implication/Application: As a leader, communication with the group is essential to moral and the overall health of a congregation.  People who know where they are headed and what to expect have less stress and produce more.
8. 8. “Both reactivity and response have advantages.” (Chapter 3, p. 434) Implication/Application: Understanding the differences and advantages of both quick and deliberate actions serves a leader well when facing stressful situations. 
9. 9. “Women often react to stress with the instinct to ‘tend and befriend.’”  (Chapter 4, p. 570)  Implication/Application: Understanding that women often react differently than men to stress is important for leaders to understand as they address conflict in the church.
10. 10.         “Sometimes leaders get into the position of thinking they are primarily responsible for preserving tranquility…The last thing they want to do is upset anyone.” (Chapter 5, p. 844) Implication/Application: Leaders consumed with unity often fail to be transparent or make necessary changes for fear of conflict.  “Instead of leading, the leader pacifies.”
11. 11.         “Boundaries provide identification and connection—and protection.”  (Chapter 6, p. 892) Implication/Application: The “essential edge” represents the boundary needed in relationships.  It is part of a leader’s responsibly to help establish and maintain healthy and distinct boundaries.
12. 12.         “The church has been far too fearful of conflict.” (Chapter 7, p. 1067) Implication/Application: Understanding that conflict can actually be healthy is essential for a leader.  One must see conflict as an opportunity to learn, change, and grow.
13. 13.          “The Indo-European word leith, for leader, means ‘to go forth, to die.’” (Chapter 8, p.1275) Implication/Application: Leaders must understand the risks of suffering that comes with this job.  Expectations will never be fully met and conflict is inevitable, but a good leader is expecting such sufferings.
14. 14.         “Leadership brings you assaults and roadblocks.  Yet leadership doesn’t mean that you have to sacrifice yourself or be sacrificed by someone else.” (Chapter 9, p. 1504) Implication/Application: Though being a leader can be tough it doesn’t have to destroy you emotionally, spiritually, or physically.  A leader must protect his/her personal time and space and refuse to sacrifice his/her family.
15. 15.         One of the most important principles of leader is “the capacity to self-manage.” (Chapter 9, p. 1695) Implication/Application: How can a leader manage others if s/he cannot manage himself/herself?  Learning self-observance and opening ourselves to others is essential for any leader.